the twisted gardens of the mind

In search of authenticity

Today, someone I barely know, pointed out in the most gentle buddha-loving way possible, that I “rely on excessively violent imagery” in my communication.  Truthfully, I do know her.  Her name is Val and she’s a client who has reached out for consultation several times this year.   A lovely and kind woman with great intentions and generous thoughts.  Perhaps it is more accurate to say someone who doesn’t know me.

Now before you jump to my defense (as I’m sure you were preparing to do) there are three things you should know:

  • I have a flip chart labeled DIF in the middle of my office with a revolving list of names on it.  DIF stands for Die in Fire.
  • I brag about making people cry.
  • I know (with a certainty usually reserved for evangelicals) that I would have lower blood pressure if I had immunity to punch people in the face .

I’m not a terrible person, I just have terrible thoughts.  And while I may not give those thoughts free reign of my hands, I do give them free access to my mouth.  I’m a firm believer in a free range id.  As for Val?  I told her I was working on being my most authentic self…and then I added her to the DIF list.

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