the twisted gardens of the mind

Archive for April, 2011



words with zynga

dear zynga,

words with friends is the crappiest, buggiest program i’ve ever had to uninstall from my droid. i left roughly 5 games hanging (several of which where i was crushing unknown random players into the ground), annoying my awesome gf (because i forced her to start playing as well – we would play head-to-head during commercial breaks while watching criminal minds), and wasting several entire work commutes waiting for you to “update” after “fixing an error that caused a crash”.

then i found the burstlyimagecache and realized the truth. you were cheating on me. you weren’t actually “fixing” the crash, you were downloading more advertisements to display after every move. sure i hit skip every single time, but it not only didn’t deter you, it spurred you into leaving this 1m cache of adverts on my sdcard (which, by the way, is running low on space after i copied 100 cds worth of music on there as well). so not cool.

so, you’re gone, and i’m taking my sdcard space back – i’ve deleted the burstlyimagecache directory and every other thing i could find that was even vaguely associated with you (and i have root, jerkface, i can do it).

p.s.: you’re you should hook up with rhapsody. you’re both space eating, information stealing bitches that leave shit lying around. you’d be perfect for each other.

p.p.s.: this hurts me so much because i really wanted to play. but, fuck you.

p.p.p.s.: that was on a TW, so 48 points for me, fuckers.

security, wifi entitlement, sending, and dates

this week’s annoyance round-up – technology edition:

1st: wordpress had a security breach – don’t forget to change your password!!

2nd: a lady sat next to me on BART with an obviously new iPad. that in itself annoyed me (not only do i hate apple the company, i’m not even that fond of apple the fruit). as the train slid from el cerrito del norte, heading towards san francisco, she desperately jumped from open wifi to open wifi in a somewhat useless attempt to read her email. every time the train moved out of reach of whatever open network she had latched onto, she would make a snorty disparaging sigh, open her wifi config, stare at it in disgust for a moment, then connect to the first new open wifi net that appeared. her little noise rapidly drove up the volume of the music i was listening to.

3rd: the new [compose] button on my gmail. i’m not usually a complainer about new tech features, but i miss the old compose link. the button is the same color, shape, and size as the [send] button and i keep hitting it by accident.

4th: a client of ours used a date/time stamp as the primary key of a database table. as we were importing the data, i found that a supposedly unique field was not. sadly, it actually was: my import had clipped the 100th’s of a second out of the stamp. yes, there were unique records (about 1%, but still over 10,000) that were separated from the next unique record by 2/100 of a second.


trailer trash

i have a serious neurotic twitch: i hate trailing spaces and tabs, and will ruthlessly reformat documents or code in which i have found them.

OH! totally ON TOPIC: i tripped over snooki‘s twitter today (it hurt), on which she describes herself as a reality star.

a reality star. just consider that for a few moments. it’s fairly brilliant, even if by accident.


banking was conceived in iniquity and was born in sin. the bankers own the earth. take it away from them, but leave them the power to create money, and with the flick of the pen they will create enough deposits to buy it back again. however, take away from them the power to create money and all the great fortunes like mine will disappear and they ought to disappear, for this would be a happier and better world to live in. but, if you wish to remain the slaves of bankers and pay the cost of your own slavery, let them continue to create money.

– attributed to josiah charles stamp (1880-1941), director of the bank of england

freedom of speech vs. accessory to murder

terry jones needs to die in a fire. i don’t think many will disagree with me on this point.

here’s where we may diverge: he IS responsible for the deaths in afghanistan – just as much as the idiots in afghanistan who did the killing.

“but he’s free to make his socio/political statement, we can’t censor that!” you might say. and i agree with you on this point. but to claim that he is not responsible for the deaths, is no different than saying the person in the crowded theater who yelled FIRE! was merely exercising free speech and is not responsible for the injuries or damage incurred. similarly, the idiot who proclaims “i’m going to kill the president!” – go for it. but don’t be surprised when the secret service show up, m’kay?

you ARE most definitely free to say these things. we’ll all defend to the death your right to say whatever you want, but don’t expect me to defend the rubbish you’ve spewed or defend you from the consequences of that spewing.