the twisted gardens of the mind

i hate you because you are dumb

sometimes i make the mistake of reading sarah palin’s facebook page.

i’m almost immediately filled with an urgent sense of horror and dismay. it is literally terrifying to me to read the responses, by her adoring fans, to her absurd rhetoric.

they are the nonsensical, un-punctuated, pie-hole noises set into the cement of the interwebs, by … who? who are these people? let’s find out…

please note: this is by no means a comprehensive list (or even the worst). but this was all i could handle without needing an anti-depressant. also, i have NOT edited these in ANY fashion.

NO NAMES HAVE BEEN CHANGED – THERE ARE NO INNOCENTS.

…You are an inspiration to a 15 year old like me. Your Christian Values, Your Family Values, and Your Conservative values are what make you so awesome! BUT what I love most about you is that you are just another Citizen, a Mom, trying to make this country better, not for yourself but for your kids and you grandkids. When I think of you I think of Ronald Reagan, and his quote, “Freedom is never more than a generation away from extinction…”

– madeleine mcaulay, who is attending an online christian highschool and expecting to graduate in 2014

“WAIT A SECOND. what’s so absurd about that?” you may be asking yourself. to which my response is: that is the most intelligible item on the page. from a 15 year old, going to an online school that features grades 3 through 12 (who takes online classes for 3rd grade?!).

WELL HERE COME,S THIS COMMENT FROM DOWN SOUTH , I WAS RAISED TO STAND ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE FENCE , BUT LET ME SPEAK SO FREELY I VOTED FOR YOU NOT JOHN MC CAIN . I WOULD VOTE THAT WAY TODAY IF YOU WERE LEADING THE TEAM FOR THE PRESIDENCY .CAUSE IF NOT I WILL MEET YOU IN THE WELFARE LINE CAUSE WHAT WE GOT NOW SURE ANT WORKING ,GOOD LUCK

– wayne jones, 54, from “down south”

aww, yeah. that’s the stuff. a little on the light side, but we’re getting there. CAPSLOCK IS GO!!

I agree with other folks here that the EPA needs to GO! They and the IRS along with WISHY WASHY Congress who won’t stand up and ask for the moon for fear they will be called “RACISTS” HOOY! Do what we need to do and don’t worry about what the LEFT is going to call us…

– marilyn hickrod, who wins “most appropriate name of the day” award

the EPA, IRS, and wishy washy congress need to GTFO. so that our country can run better. because less is more! more is less! yay, anarchy! also, i like the moon – that does not make me a racist hooy!

As a business owner I say WE ARE NOT POWERLESS…LET’S RECLAIM THE 7 MOUNTAINS OF OUR CULTURE!

– teresa spivey, apparent business owner, who recently “just discovered gmail today! Wow, I feel like Sarah Palin climbing Mt. McKinley for the first time in Alaska!!!

yes! because we need more cultish cults to reclaim anything that may have been great about america! and i’m positive that your discovery of gmail is EXACTLY like climbing mt. mckinley for the first time in alaska or any other state! especially when in another state!

Regarding the tax for vehicle mileage…this is just another way of turning us into a communist country!

– louise la jeone

dear god, driving my car is a right bestowed upon me by you and the DMV! being taxed for driving is the hallmark of COMMIES! please smite the IRS, drive taxing commies, and other commies from the earth. thank you god, amen!

Gov. Sarah Palin, just say the word, your army is ready, willing and able. God bless you and your precious family in the name of Jesus.

– prayer warriors for sarah palin

it appears that the prayer warriors are unaware that she is not, in fact, governor any longer. someone want to text them, maybe let them know? also i have some great poisonberry flavored kool-aid chilling in the fridge, if, you know, any of them want to stop by…

Yes, set your sites on the White House, we need to prime the economy with your campaign.

– john de clef piñeiro, j.d., yale law, class of 1983

ah, a learned man has arrived on the site. who believes that a presidential campaign will spark the re-ignition the economy. folks, this really grinds my gears! (oh snap! a slight and a family guy reference!)

Mr. Obama is a two face , compulsive lier who has NO RESPECT for our nation and it’s law

– ricky tibbs, from tennessee

i find it baffling that someone who can spell “compulsive” cannot spell “liar”. WTF people? on the plus side, having only one law would simplify the legal system enormously.

it is currently against the law for a company to retaliate against its employees for doing something lawful or legal!

– tom conner, tree specialist

i’m honestly not sure where to go with this one. you’re right! congratulations! i’m not sure why you feel outraged about it though.

Obama’s action speak louder than words. I am fearful of him & his actions. I did not believe he was an American because of his actions. Do not listen to his words, watch what he does. WE HAVE FREE SPEECH TODAY BUT NOT SO SURE ABOUT TOMORROW!!!!!!!!! I still do not understand how this happened. God please help us………..

– cynthia lavarnway

actions speak louder than words, so let’s sit around asking god for assistance. to reclaim free speech that we may or may not have. tomorrow. get involved? nah…

We in south Carolina need jobs to Obama a jerk

– shane morgan, graduated: school of hard knocks, class of 1985

apparently grammar wasn’t added to the curriculum at that school until 1990 or so.

the problem is 3 words “Made in China” duh

– marilyn smillie, british columbia

marilyn, thanks for calling in! it’s nice to see that our neighbors to the north have the same problem with busybodies and idiocy that we do – i worry sometimes that all the stupid people congregate here in america. (p.s.: british columbia is in canada!)

I’d tell Obambam to go suck a big Oscar Mayer wiener, and build a plant in Canada.

– terry lee, who does NOT live in canada, likes donald trump in 2012, and believes there is a “trillion dollar bill” with special ink that becomes invisible under infrared light.

i wish i was making this shit up. really, i do.

Party first…unions first…the corporation? No problem. If it fails, he’ll simply nationalize it. He’s Hugo Obama. He’s Emperor of Venezuela, or Cuba. And in November 2012, we’re going to fire him from his position as our president.

– bill reardon, self proclaimed “tea party activist”

maybe it’s a tea party thing, but i only understood the very last sentence fragment. thoughts, anyone?

President Obama is doing the work of George Soros, and the Communist, Socialist, Progressive, Ultra Liberal people who put him in office. Sarah, please keep shining bright light on the darkness of this evil world trying to destroy the USA.

glenn beck, unemployed (looking for new network) bill gainey, unemployed (looking for work)

soros “played a significant role in the peaceful transition from communism to capitalism in hungary.” i can almost see the logic that twists this type of work into something dark and evil: when your job is cut away with the rest of the worst parts of the military complex..? oh, that gives me an idea:

peace & democracy:

attempting to put sociopathic, sadistic assholes out of work since 1776!

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2 responses

  1. shai

    can i please have a couple of the “peace and democracy” bumper stickers when you get them made? :) maybe a couple of buttons?

    2011:05:12 at 9:46 am

    • hmmm… i should think up some more slogans and cafepress that shit… :) lol

      2011:05:13 at 2:44 pm

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