10.20 am : internet is running slowly.
10.45 am : after running extensive ping, traceroute, and speedtests, then rebooting every piece of hardware i can lay hand on and run it all again – 20 to 40% packet loss after 2 router hops.
11.20 am : when i can’t find any working network status page for comcast, i finally call them. they tell me i’m not on the account and can’t put in a trouble ticket.
11.40 am : i log into comcast via my gf’s laptop, add myself to the account, although due to high packet loss, it may have been more expedient to use carrier pigeon. i call back.
11.50 am : the support rep i am on the phone with tells me she can’t see any trouble in my area, but also admits that their internal system is down. she apologizes for not being able to help troubleshoot what she is fairly certain is really just a problem occurring between my computer and the modem. i refrain from telling her that that is the only saving grace about this call.
12.10 pm : i try and get some work done, but am continually booted from my remote desktop session. i play angry birds and eat lunch.
12.50 pm : i re-run all my diagnostics, not only from my pc, but from my gf’s laptop and directly off the router itself. i double check all ethernet and coax cabling.
1.05 pm : i randomly google comcast twitter and find the twitter accounts of several techs who seem to be giving more solid help, advice, or even just up-to-date status to customers. i connect with a tech and am passed off to a second tech with a request for details of the issue.
1.30 pm : i happily send them brief traceroute & ping logs.
3.05 pm : i send a quick check-in to see if they have any updates on the issue.
3.15 pm : i realize that neither of the techs has responded to any issues since shortly after 1.30. apparently, they are on the east coast and have gone home.
4.00 pm : after having wasted an entire day, i call comcast again. their system is still down and since i never received any type of follow-up, i not only do not have a trouble ticket, but there is apparently no record of any of my previous contacts. i hang up in disgust.
4.30 pm : i am filled with the rage. i can’t watch anything through boxee box, because it … you know, uses the fucking internet. i pretend that all the little pigs are comcast employees while i play motherfucking rage-filled birds some more. whatever corporate fuckwit decided that there should be no network status page deserves a triangular, yellow, gurgling bird to the throat.
4.50 pm : in a last ditch effort to at least appear productive, i call support again. i get put on hold and hang up.
5:20 pm : consistent service appears to be restored (just in time for people to get home and start watching tv!).
i almost hate you more than AT&T. almost.
 i have been contacted by several customer relations people regarding this post. i will update this story as warranted.
dear people of earth,
you are not entitled to make it through the light. stop honking your horn fuck-wad. wait your goddamn turn.
you are not entitled to that parking spot. i couldn’t move any further up, and it wasn’t even a spot anyway, so suck it.
you are not entitled to know what is happening on the other side of the freeway. stop rubbernecking, ass-hats.
you are not entitled to have a post office experience free of line. knock off your bitching.
you are not entitled to in the fastest lanes at all times, so quit swerving your car all the fuck over the place, shit-head.