the twisted gardens of the mind

Archive for December, 2011

new segment: you drive like shit

dear SUV with california plate 4RLJ8516,

i hope your shitty driving has earned you a stupendously large insurance premium, you fuckwit. i hope you roll your piece of shit SUV into the bay.

please die.


a return to anger

i’m back.

i didn’t really go away, but i’ve found there’s a certain comfort zone i need to inhabit to be able to write.

A ——– B —- C¬†——– D

if point A is a point somewhere on the anxiety-ridden side of at rest, and point D is the kind of boiling rage where you cut off other people’s middle fingers and arrange them in a giant depiction of a middle finger on your target’s lawn, then my comfort zone is from B to C.

as it happens, i returned from vacation and idled for awhile just below B, then jumped up into the C-D range, and have been hovering around C ever since.

that’s my story, and i’m sticking to it.