the twisted gardens of the mind

Andrew Breitbart Death Ruled “Death by Autoerotic Myocardial Infarction”

andrew breitbart loved to stir up controversy.

and now, barely 12 hours after his death, people all throughout the twit-verse are calling for congressional investigations, hearings (and other retarded wastes of time and money) into why he is no longer with us.

the pink liberal fascist assassins of obama killed breitbart.

obama killed breitbart over videotape of obama college gay coke party.

breitbart knew too much and paid the ultimate price.

but i submit to you that andrew breitbart may have only been a victim of a moment of inspired prescience – hear me out for a second:

he suddenly realized that if he could suddenly die under suspicious circumstances, a “perfect storm” of delusional media santorum would froth up. he could see this tidal wave of class warfare, caused by his martyrdom, sweeping across a torn nation. he imagined an army of “neo-andys” raising up, fighting in his name, for neo-con ideals – WHITE HETEROSEXUAL MALE SUPERIORITY! POLITICAL NEO-CONSERVATISM! YES! THE 1%! CAPITALISM! YES! YES!

and suddenly, his body just could no longer stand it: heart attack by masturbatory self delusion.

now, isn’t that so much easier to believe than a gay immigrant liberal hit squad?

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