the twisted gardens of the mind

painful stupidity

the best reason ever to love the ONION

dear the onion,

thank you for the valuable services you provide. namely, drawing such an obvious line in the sand – or actually, allowing the stupid to draw it for us – is immensely helpful and gives us a clear starting point when we need to thin the herd a bit.

your generosity for providing such a valuable service – and for the amusement it brings the rest of us – is commendable, and it is a true comfort to know that knowledge and irony are not dead. kudos!

best regards,


p.s. can’t forget a shout-out to the amazing person who compiled this resource for us – thank you!!!

without further ado, i present the i hate you because you are dumb – redux at this link of secondary damage and mayhem caused by the onion: literally unbelievable.


i hate you because you are dumb

sometimes i make the mistake of reading sarah palin’s facebook page.

i’m almost immediately filled with an urgent sense of horror and dismay. it is literally terrifying to me to read the responses, by her adoring fans, to her absurd rhetoric.

they are the nonsensical, un-punctuated, pie-hole noises set into the cement of the interwebs, by … who? who are these people? let’s find out…

please note: this is by no means a comprehensive list (or even the worst). but this was all i could handle without needing an anti-depressant. also, i have NOT edited these in ANY fashion.



trailer trash

i have a serious neurotic twitch: i hate trailing spaces and tabs, and will ruthlessly reformat documents or code in which i have found them.

OH! totally ON TOPIC: i tripped over snooki‘s twitter today (it hurt), on which she describes herself as a reality star.

a reality star. just consider that for a few moments. it’s fairly brilliant, even if by accident.

we’re doomed.

I think the USA can now expect some sort of “evacuation” order to be issued for the West Coast and North West… along the lines of Oregon, California, Washington State, Idaho, North Dakota, nevada, Utah, and maybe even Colorado! [sic]

i’m not even going to dignify the quote above with a link. because it worries me that we actually are doomed.

not from fallout, but from sensationalist news headlines, and stupid people spouting off their stupid mouths when they don’t know what the fuck they’re talking about.

to anyone considering moving away from the west coast – please do. i don’t want your brain rotting, zombie-like dumb to infect me or anyone i know. kthxbye.

[update] because this annoys me, i’ve made for the banner image for this blog: the soothing blue glow of cherenkov radiation in a reactor core. image courtesy of argonne national laboratory in illinois.

michele bachmann

i HATE THIS BITCH. after reading that article, i decided to add “painful stupidity” as a category here, because… well, it should be.

seriously, she should not be allowed to inflict her idiocy upon impressionable children. it should be considered reckless endangerment or child abuse or something. DO NOT LET THIS WOMAN NEAR CHILDREN – SHE MAY INFECT THEM WITH DUMB.

please, won’t you think of the children?