the twisted gardens of the mind

Posts tagged “angry run-on sentences

things that are pissing me off, part ii

  • stupid mobile apps. i was sitting behind someone on bart yesterday who had his laptop open, running eclipse, and was very intent on some code. since i’m nosy, and this is relevant to my interests, i scanned the code over his shoulder. his app was stupid and it actually made me sad to see time and effort wasted on something so lame. it made me want to write an app that would count the number of armpit hairs that you have and then share the results with your friends and family on social media. you could compare your hairs per square inch to your colleagues, see if longer vs. shorter hairs run in your high school social circles. actually the worst part of this fantasy app is that it would still be less stupid than the app he was making.
  • useless projects (especially being involved in them — yes.. see? sometimes i’m disheartened by some of the projects i have to work on too).
  • virtualbox, for having completely broken usb pass-thru. no, i’m not even trying to pass-thru my wifi interface, i already know that shit is fucked.. i’m talking about the microsd card that windows will absolutely chew the fuck up when i can use dd instead with half the annoyance.
  • half-assed implementations of .net+jQuery.
  • appcelerator, i will hit you with a brick.
  • windows for attempting to upgrade me from 7 to 10. no, just no. fuck off, no.
  • windows, again, for completely ignoring my opt-out of the customer experience improvement program (ceip). after opting the fuck out, a recent microsoft update took a shit all over my system running performance data collection (and uploading to microsoft!) — supposedly, it’s anonymous, but since i’d already OPTED THE FUCK OUT it shouldn’t have been running anyway.
  • windows, again, because the only reason i even noticed all these broken processes running anyway is because that shit was running anyway and ALL THE TIME. at rest, with everything closed and my anti-virus paused, my hard disk was hitting 100kb/s of I/O. what the serious fuck? i shut down every single ceip related task and things are mostly back to normal.
  • marketingese and the need to monetize every-fucking-thing.

i was doing some research on predictive analysis algorithms when i came across… (emphasis and commentary mine)

our very expensive product “empowers professionals and enterprises to capture and share health knowledge”.

empower (verb): make (someone) strong and more confident, especially in controlling their life and claiming their rights.

our “health analytics market[place] liberates this knowledge and makes it readily accessible so that every health professional [with a large enough budget] can take advantage of it”.

liberate (verb): set (someone) free from a situation, especially imprisonment or slavery, in which their liberty is severely restricted. release (someone) from a state or situation that limits freedom of thought or behavior.

  1. those fragments are from the same fucking paragraph.
  2. i feel weird that people are feeling empowered to imprison my “health knowledge”.
  3. i feel confused that the same fucking people who have “captured my health knowledge” are trying to “liberate” it again. is this an expendables movie? will jason statham show up and rescue my liberated health knowledge?
  4. the fact that all of this data could be actually used to save people’s lives, instead of being bottled up and sold, pisses me off. fuck these people.

i feel a little bad about shitting on the guy working on his stupid iphone app above. i really do hope it was a learning project. but seriously, i’ve had it up to here with people attempting to monetize everything — no matter how important or stupidly trivial — and then adding insult to injury by having marketing pouring a case of obsession for men onto their shit sandwich and then everyone dances around applauding their epic new sucking emptiness.


excel is NOT a database! and other dirty tricks…

excel is NOT a database. don’t use it like one. now that that’s off my chest…

bitches who need to be dead

fr** phe*** and the rest of the westb*** bapt*** chu***. you all know who i’m talking about. linked from an article about elizabeth taylor’s passing was the twitter of @margiejphe***, who has not only announced that the w.b.c. will picket taylor’s funeral, but is relinking every story about her own twitter about picketing the funeral. as if every disbelieving commentary is a successful paid advertisement for her organisation’s hatred.

does anyone remember the south park episode the death of eric cartman? cartman eats the skins from an entire bucket of KFC (the best part!), after which the rest of the south park gang ignores him. eventually, cartman begins to believe that he has died and become a ghost.

why can’t we apply this same principle to the phe*** clan? time, the village voice, the rest of the pundits and news sites out there are matching them up to every part-time troll on the internet. why can’t we just ignore them until they implode? i’m counting myself in this as well. reading some of this insanity is infuriating, but i think what makes me just as angry is that i feel manipulated into being angry about it. i want to be dismissive, but it’s so inflammatory and so vile that it’s hard to look away.

mar 11: amazing day of god’s wrath… god is cursing japan for worshiping [sic] false god buddha.

oh, and this one from another of the phe*** clan:

mar 24: god shakes the nirvana out of myanmar (burma) today. buddha has fallen and it can’t get up. fatty.

seriously, WHAT THE FUCK. that makes me want to ignore them with business end of a baseball bat. repeatedly.

i feel dirty for being upset by it, but there it is. even though they all deserve top placement on the die in a fire list, i won’t put them there because i don’t want to have to look at the names.

wow. as i’ve been writing this, i’ve had twitter scrolling along on another screen. this woman does not stop. her profile says she’s an attorney, but i think twitter troll is more accurate.

[sections of this were written yesterday]