- stupid mobile apps. i was sitting behind someone on bart yesterday who had his laptop open, running eclipse, and was very intent on some code. since i’m nosy, and this is relevant to my interests, i scanned the code over his shoulder. his app was stupid and it actually made me sad to see time and effort wasted on something so lame. it made me want to write an app that would count the number of armpit hairs that you have and then share the results with your friends and family on social media. you could compare your hairs per square inch to your colleagues, see if longer vs. shorter hairs run in your high school social circles. actually the worst part of this fantasy app is that it would still be less stupid than the app he was making.
- useless projects (especially being involved in them — yes.. see? sometimes i’m disheartened by some of the projects i have to work on too).
- virtualbox, for having completely broken usb pass-thru. no, i’m not even trying to pass-thru my wifi interface, i already know that shit is fucked.. i’m talking about the microsd card that windows will absolutely chew the fuck up when i can use
ddinstead with half the annoyance.
- half-assed implementations of .net+jQuery.
- appcelerator, i will hit you with a brick.
- windows for attempting to upgrade me from 7 to 10. no, just no. fuck off, no.
- windows, again, for completely ignoring my opt-out of the customer experience improvement program (ceip). after opting the fuck out, a recent microsoft update took a shit all over my system running performance data collection (and uploading to microsoft!) — supposedly, it’s anonymous, but since i’d already OPTED THE FUCK OUT it shouldn’t have been running anyway.
- windows, again, because the only reason i even noticed all these broken processes running anyway is because that shit was running anyway and ALL THE TIME. at rest, with everything closed and my anti-virus paused, my hard disk was hitting 100kb/s of I/O. what the serious fuck? i shut down every single ceip related task and things are mostly back to normal.
- marketingese and the need to monetize every-fucking-thing.
i was doing some research on predictive analysis algorithms when i came across… (emphasis and commentary mine)
our very expensive product “empowers professionals and enterprises to capture and share health knowledge”.
empower (verb): make (someone) strong and more confident, especially in controlling their life and claiming their rights.
our “health analytics market[place] liberates this knowledge and makes it readily accessible so that every health professional [with a large enough budget] can take advantage of it”.
liberate (verb): set (someone) free from a situation, especially imprisonment or slavery, in which their liberty is severely restricted. release (someone) from a state or situation that limits freedom of thought or behavior.
- those fragments are from the same fucking paragraph.
- i feel weird that people are feeling empowered to imprison my “health knowledge”.
- i feel confused that the same fucking people who have “captured my health knowledge” are trying to “liberate” it again. is this an expendables movie? will jason statham show up and rescue my liberated health knowledge?
- the fact that all of this data could be actually used to save people’s lives, instead of being bottled up and sold, pisses me off. fuck these people.
i feel a little bad about shitting on the guy working on his stupid iphone app above. i really do hope it was a learning project. but seriously, i’ve had it up to here with people attempting to monetize everything — no matter how important or stupidly trivial — and then adding insult to injury by having marketing pouring a case of obsession for men onto their shit sandwich and then everyone dances around applauding their epic new sucking emptiness.
dear people of earth,
you are not entitled to make it through the light. stop honking your horn fuck-wad. wait your goddamn turn.
you are not entitled to that parking spot. i couldn’t move any further up, and it wasn’t even a spot anyway, so suck it.
you are not entitled to know what is happening on the other side of the freeway. stop rubbernecking, ass-hats.
you are not entitled to have a post office experience free of line. knock off your bitching.
you are not entitled to in the fastest lanes at all times, so quit swerving your car all the fuck over the place, shit-head.