i now have an ello account. it’s a new ad-free non-facebook social network.
i feel like this should be a good thing, but even as i hovered, annoyed and tense, over the shoulder of the remarkable persnicketywicket while she navigated the site to find and send me a coveted beta-invite, i felt a cold, hollow, darkness settle into my stomach.
- i also have 2 diaspora accounts. it’s an ad-free non-facebook social network. beyond the 1 month mark, i may have logged into one of them, once.
- i have 4 twitter accounts. 1 i wrote as someone else, to see what it was like to interact with highly political people in an arena i have absolutely no other knowledge about. i learned that living in a highly charged echo chamber is super-easy, but putting off (otherwise interesting-seeming) people who decide they want to hang out with you IRL is more difficult.
- i also have a google+ account. it’s a surveillance-friendly social network by google – the company behind such amazing things as “google search”, “google mail”, “google chrome”, “android”, and the “google doodle”. i wanted to like it. i tried to like it. but in the end, i left with my faith in the whole google entity/apparatus badly shaken. still, about once a week, i receive a little “bell” notification icon above my gmail that someone else i’ve never heard of has added me to their circles. hooray.
- i also have 4 wordpress accounts, totalling almost 10 blogs, of which i write in 1. about twice a year. (this one)
- i also have a flickr account. flickr is yahoo’s last (fading) shred of dignity. i like to take pictures of my cats, and feel the need to inflict them upon the rest of the internet, my friends on facebook, and my family members.
- i also have an imgur account. imgur is like flickr’s tattooed, younger cousin who is sometimes cool but still too often just a fucking douche. but what can i say? i still like pictures of cats.
- i also have a soundcloud account. about once a year i make some vaguely resembling music and post it. i almost completely ignore the social aspect of this system.
- i also have a last.fm account. i like to listen to music, i like to have very generalized statistics about what i’ve been listening to, i like for other people to know that i listen to cool music, and i like that some guy in the czech republic thinks that my listening habits are generally in line with his own.
- i also have a linkedin account. ugh, shut the fuck up – either be a monster-wannabe or get off the toilet. work+social mixes about as well as cocaine+C4 — not very well, and with a tendency for someone to fuck up and explode by accident.
- i also have a goodreads account. goodreads is like twitter and barnes&noble’s semi-illegitimate fuck-baby. i log in about once every 3 to 4 books that i’ve read, but mostly because another facebook friend found my account and added me. i’m not sure why i bother.
- i also have 2 livejournal accounts. livejournal is a pre-facebook, pre-twitter, pre-myspace social network. i have something like 8 years worth of rants, “poetry”, song lyrics, dreams, passionate arguments, discourse, and non-sequiturs in one of the accounts, and several years of club dj sets in the other. i log in once a year and wonder how i can download the entirety of the data in a fashion that i can still peruse (about twice a year), but that i won’t have to spend a couple hours writing some sort of parser or version-insensitive database to contain (and then maintain) the entries. trufax: livejournal is going to be the subject of the next jurassic park movie.
- i also still have a myspace account. i just checked. i don’t even know how that’s possible. 1000 years from now, myspace will still exist, no one will use it, and my account will still be there, showing the same pre-instragram, photoshopped selfie that i took 15 years ago. artificial intelligences of that era will consider myspace to be the cockroach of application code.
- i also have 5 facebook accounts and an additional 4 or 5 pages (that i spend a grand total of about no minutes per year actually moderating). facebook is an ad-filled facebook-filled social network, worth a zillion dollars, that everyone hates but uses anyway. it’s sort of like hating air, but… fuck you, you’re gonna breathe it anyway. 3 of the accounts are actually for my cats (1 of whom is deceased, so please stop sending him “happy birthday” posts every year, kthx).
and now i also have an ello account. it’s a new ad-free non-facebook social network.
fuck me, i was going to make some possibly witty commentary about putting half an egg in 15 baskets, but i’m just sort of depressed by this. i wonder what’s happening at work right now…
sometimes i make the mistake of reading sarah palin’s facebook page.
i’m almost immediately filled with an urgent sense of horror and dismay. it is literally terrifying to me to read the responses, by her adoring fans, to her absurd rhetoric.
they are the nonsensical, un-punctuated, pie-hole noises set into the cement of the interwebs, by … who? who are these people? let’s find out…
please note: this is by no means a comprehensive list (or even the worst). but this was all i could handle without needing an anti-depressant. also, i have NOT edited these in ANY fashion.
NO NAMES HAVE BEEN CHANGED – THERE ARE NO INNOCENTS.
2011:05:11 | Categories: ass-hats, dislike, painful stupidity, politics, quotes | Tags: facebook, fail, grammar fail, idiocy, motivated ignorance, politics fail, sarah palin, spelling fail | 2 Comments